observations and updates

Life is full of contrast, yin and yang, often subtle, sometimes blatant. Saturday was a beautiful day, warm and sunny, while Sunday brought cold and rain. It was like living in two opposite climates in a single weekend. On Saturday we spent the day outside, hiking and visiting old friends. On Sunday we went to a soggy native plant sale and picked up a few more plants for the front yard. The cool wet weather continues today, ushering in the always jarring Monday Troll, having freshly clawed itself up the muddy embankment from its weekend under-bridge haunts. It sits on my keyboard now, all red gleaming eyes and slavering fangs.

The weekend yielded a few new first-of-year birds, including Northern Parula, Ovenbird, Louisiana Waterthrush, Yellow-throated Warbler, Black-and-white Warbler, Common Yellowthroat, and one of my all-time favorites, WOOD THRUSH! How happy was I to hear their dulcet notes while walking the arboretum trails on Friday evening.

This morning as I rode past the parole and probation office, a young man crossing the street in front of me yelled “Gimme that damn bike,” not even pausing in his stride and with no more than a cursory glance in my general direction. I am always mystified by interactions like this (a more aggressive spin on the classic “Hey, lemme borrow your bike” scheme). Did this guy expect me to immediately dismount and hand my bike over to him? He made no threatening gestures nor did he display any inclination to take my bike by force. His instruction was delivered in a manner more akin to a casual aside than a strict command, although I found his tone reflected a savagery inappropriate for such an early hour. Likely on his way to meet with his probation agent, perhaps he was not in the best of moods and needed to make some desperate attempt to assert control over his situation. I was almost tempted to stop and give him the bike just to see what he would do. I’m sure it would not have been what he was expecting. Maybe he would’ve asked me to hold it for him while he went inside and spoke with his agent. I can imagine him in the office, highly agitated, imploring his agent to hasten the meeting along: “C’mon, man, can we just finish this up? There’s a guy outside who’s gonna gimme his bike and I dunno how much longer he’s gonna wait for me.”

When you live in a crime-riddled city like this one, you need to have a sense of humor about stuff like this. Otherwise you’d stay in your house all the time with the blinds pulled shut.

foregone conclusions foreclosed on

In the morning I ride my bike with reckless abandon. It is my time, sometimes my only time. Today I met a friend. These things happen, on occasion. We talked as we rode downtown together. Without a bike I’d be lost. When I step off the pedals, the next 8 hours blur past. [Sit and click. Sit and click. Clatter of keyboard.] My friend must leave again. Plans did not materialize. Alternate plans were made. But he must leave to complete them. It’s sad. He was glad to be back. And now he must go. It’s not easy to uproot and grow roots somewhere else. These things take time. I know. Sometimes you get lucky and it’s easier, but sometimes the soil is dead and grey. I hope he may return someday, though I may be gone if he does. I hope I’m gone. This city wears me down. My roots are dry and withered.

The other day Em Ell and I met a cat. He was outside our back door with a long-ago torn ear. He was small, grey and white with a narrow face and yellow eyes. A friendly cat. He rubbed on my legs and rolled on his back. I gave him food and water but he did not want them, at least not while we still stood there. He just wanted a little attention, like so many of us do.

I respect the subtlety of cats. It’s now been 8 months since cancer took my cat. It feels like much longer. Perhaps because I had lived for so long before her death with cats in my life. Now there are none underfoot and I miss them. A cat’s affection is a reward, something earned, not given out lightly. That warm, soft weight in your lap soothes much pain. And a litter box is such a tiny cross to bear in return. Maybe one day I’ll be lucky enough to feel that weight again.

Outside is grey and raindrops fall. Inside I too am grey. Though I can’t rightly say why.

all weather bike commuting: what gear to get

I haven’t written about bike commuting in a while. Given its growing popularity, particularly in urban areas, I thought I’d share some of my tips on equipment for year-round commuting. Spring and summer bike commuting don’t typically require any special equipment, beyond maybe a light jacket on cool spring days and rain gear if there’s a downpour. While it’s nice that no additional equipment is needed, riding in warm weather is fraught with other difficulties. People often ask me in the winter how I can stand to ride in the cold. I always tell them I would much rather ride in the winter than in the summer. If you dress properly in the winter, you can always be comfortable on your bike. But in the summer, even if you were to ride naked, you’d still arrive at work a hot sweaty mess. There is no way to get around it, although using panniers to stash your gear as opposed to wearing a backpack or shoulder bag does boost the comfort level. Summer riding usually also necessitates a change of clothing at work. You’re forced to ride in shorts and t-shirts, which adds extra time to the start and end of your day, not to mention extra weight to your bag.

After years of bike commuting in all kinds of weather, I can now look at the temperature and precipitation outside and know instantly how to dress. After much trial and error, I’ve narrowed down my equipment to the bare essentials. I’m sharing my list below. Cycling equipment is absurdly overpriced, and unfortunately not all of it is good quality. When possible, non-cycling specific equipment can be used for economic reasons. That said, certain cycling-specific gear is either a real necessity or at the very least an added convenience. Keep in mind that these tips are for cycling in the Mid-Atlantic region (chiefly during cold weather since as noted above warm weather does not require much in the way of additional gear). Also, everyone is different. For example, I know that I need to wear a skull cap that covers my ears in temperatures below 55 or my inner ears will start aching. I also have very little fat on my fingers so my hands are particularly susceptible to the cold. These are the types of things you discover about yourself after long periods of year-round biking.

Note: all temps listed are in Fahrenheit.

Insulated socks- Warm socks are essential. We lose the majority of our body heat through our feet, hands, and head. I typically wear them when temps drop below 40 or so. I’m a vegan so I don’t wear new wool. If you scout around you can find warm non-wool socks. If you don’t have ethical issues with wool, though, you can’t beat it for warmth. Get enough pairs that you can make it through a full week of cold weather commuting without doing laundry.

Bottom base layer- I wear a base layer under my work pants when temps drop below freezing or, if I’m wearing thin dress pants, below 40 degrees. I’ve found that long underwear is not worth skimping on when it comes to quality. Discount outdoor gear outlets like Sierra Trading Post are good places to look. I found some nice lightweight pairs on sale and stocked up. As with socks, make sure you have enough pairs to get through a full week. And don’t put them in the dryer! They may shrink and it will shorten their lifespan.

Top base layer- With winter riding, layering is key. It’s often a lot colder in the morning than in the evening. You want to be able to adapt so you remain comfortable. Underneath my outer jacket, I wear an old Pearl Izumi winter zip-up jersey that ML found cheap in a thrift store. I wear this when temps are below 40. If it’s warmer in the evening I stash it in my bag and just wear my outer jacket. This does not have to be a cycling-specific piece of clothing. Any kind of lightweight and close-fitting insulated top layer should work.

Jacket- I have two jackets that I alternate between for bike commuting (I also have a rain jacket that I use–more on that later). One is a very lightweight cycling windbreaker that zips up into itself and even has a belt you can use to carry it around your waist when out on a long ride. This is probably my favorite piece of gear. It’s so versatile. The sleeves even zip off! In my opinion, it’s worth spending some money to get something like this (Nashbar and Performance are two good places to look for discount and clearance cycling gear; best time to buy is near season-end). I wear this probably 75% of the time I need an outer layer for any outdoor activity, not just cycling. It works on cool spring and autumn days on its own and can be paired with my insulated jersey for colder days.

My other jacket is for the coldest days, typically below 35 or 40. It’s not cycling-specific and was not very expensive. I bought it at an outdoor store. It’s got an attached hood and it both zips and snaps up the front. It zips all the way up and, with the hood, covers my neck with plenty of breathing room. It’s not waterproof and it’s only slightly more insulated than my windbreaker, but it’s a little longer and works really well as an outer layer for winter riding. I also use it for winter hiking, dog walking, etc.

Head coverings- I have two head coverings that I use. One is a lightweight neoprene skull cap that I use three seasons of the year, any time the temps are below 55 (see note above about my ear problems). The other is a fleece balaclava that I use in one of two ways. When it’s below 35 or so, I’ll wear it around my neck to keep my neck warm and have it available to pull up higher over my face if needed. When it gets down into the mid to low 20s I’ll wear it as intended, pulled up over my head in combination with the skull cap. These two items don’t need to be cycling-specific gear, but make sure that they will fit under your helmet before buying.

Gloves- During winter riding, keeping your hands warm is one of the most important considerations, and the hardest to accomplish. Finding the right gloves for cold weather riding took me a very long time. While some people can get by with just wearing regular insulated winter gloves, this is one piece of gear that I always purchase cycling-specific. I currently have two pairs of gloves: one lightweight pair for 3-season riding in temps below 50 or so, and one insulated pair for deep winter cold riding. I’ve had a harder time finding a lightweight pair that I’m happy with. They always seem to fall apart much faster than their price tag should allow for. Last year I bought a new pair and sprung for Giros, thinking they’d be better, and they started falling apart before the year was out. What you’re looking for in this type of glove is adequate padding on the palms, breathable fabric on top, and sufficient wrist coverage. Most have some type of Velcro wrist closure. Examine this closely to see if it’s sewn well; it’s a common spot for gloves to fail. Also, if you have no qualms about using leather products, gloves with leather palms will probably last much longer than the synthetic crap I’m forced to buy.

My deep cold weather gloves are of the “lobster claw” variety. These keep two sets of fingers together on each hand, while the thumb is separate, with the idea being that your body heat will help keep the fingers warm. Since my fingers emit virtually no body heat, these only work for me within a certain temp range. Once it gets down into the upper teens, my fingers are still cold and aching when I get to work. Gloves are a rather personal piece of gear so you have to find what works for you. But if you are like me and your hands get cold easily, don’t skimp on this equipment.

Rain jacket- I bought a relatively inexpensive rain jacket from an outdoor store. It’s not just for cycling; I use it for any occasion where I’m out in the rain. Make sure it is waterproof, not just water resistant. There is a big difference, believe me. Lightweight ones are better for cycling because of the layering theory noted above. Versatility is key. You want to be able to use it in warm rain and cold rain (and sleet and heavy snow). Hoods are optional; mine zips on and off, which I like because the hood tends to block my peripheral vision while riding so I leave it off.

Rain pants- Waterproof pants are essential if you’re going to ride in the rain. Cycling-specific ones are helpful. I think mine were only about $20 from Performance. They have Velcro closures at the cuffs as well as zippers to allow for easy-on, easy-off over your shoes. There are also reflective bands at the cuffs. Like most other outerwear, rain pants should be lightweight, especially since by nature they are not breathable. It’s also easier to fit them in your bag when not needed. I also have a pair of insulated waterproof snowboarding pants that I found dirt cheap at a thrift store. I may have worn these once or twice while riding in the snow but they really aren’t necessary. If you’re wearing a base layer, work pants, and lightweight rain pants, you should be warm enough in most cold precipitation in the Mid-Atlantic region.

Shoes- Shoes are a very personal piece of gear. What type you wear also depends on what types of pedals you ride. I use toe cages on my pedals because I don’t like to mess with changing my shoes at work. I won’t discuss clipless pedals here since I don’t ride them to work, although I will note that there are plenty of cycling-specific shoe covering options for those who ride clipless. If you use cages, make sure whatever shoes you use fit into the cage. They need to be fairly narrow at the toe. I like skate shoes for bike commuting. Every 2-3 years I buy a nice pair of dressier Vans that I can wear at work. They have a hard rubber sole that is perfect for the type of pedals I ride and they are typically narrow in the toe. They are also made really well and hold up for a long time.

For rain and snow, you have a few options. Especially in rain, though, you need to consider how to keep your feet dry. Trust me, it really sucks to have wet feet for most of the day at work. One of my friends bought cheap rubber pull-ons that fit over his shoes and go a little higher to cover the ankle. These are nice because you can just fold them up and they fit nicely in your bag. I have a pair of galoshes that work the same way, except they’re too bulky to transport. I used them a few times for cycling but they don’t fit well enough in my toe cages and in general are too unwieldy for riding. I now mainly use them for shoveling snow and other snow-related activities. I like that they fit over my shoes, so if I’m going to a friend’s house or something I can take them off when I get there and still have regular shoes on. So buying them wasn’t a total loss.

Recently I bought a pair of Palladium boots, which is what the French legionnaires wear. They are ankle-height, lightweight canvas and rubber, and fit well in my toe cages. They’re not 100% waterproof (although Palladium does make leather ones that are); however, the rubber covers the entire toe and up to the start of the laces, which is the area where the majority of the rain hits my feet. They’re also professional enough to wear to work. So now I use these when it rains. As with most of my cycling gear purchases, I made a choice that is both versatile and comfortable; I can also wear these while birding, as well as in casual settings. I’ve missed having a casual pair of boots to wear so I’m really happy with these.

That’s about it as far as clothing. To recap: dress in layers; make sure your head, feet, and hands are appropriately protected; acquire lightweight waterproof gear for rainy days; and try to purchase versatile gear that you can also wear in other everyday situations.

commuter rant

As a long-time bike commuter, I have always prided myself on my ability to keep all senses on high alert while traveling between home, work, and anywhere else I choose to ride.  My 360° awareness and accompanying quick response time are what keep me relatively safe on the streets.  But now I am weary.  I am weary of asinine drivers.  I am weary of ignorant pedestrians.  I am weary of the need for this constant vigilance.  Take this morning, for example.  I approach a red traffic light.  A car waits at the light across the intersection.  The driver does not have her turn signal on.  I am headed straight.  The light turns green almost immediately, and so I push off into the intersection.  At the same time, still without signaling, the driver turns left into my path.  I dodge to the right in order to avoid being hit, yelling out in frustration.  As she completes her turn, the driver reacts in outrage, yelling at me, “What the fuck?!”

So, let’s review.  We are facing each other at an intersection.  Neither of us is indicating an intended turn, which means that we would both have the right-of-way to proceed straight without pausing.  Now, if she intended to turn she should: (a) indicate her intention with her turn signal, and (b) wait for me to pass through the intersection before executing her turn, as I have the right-of-way.  The fact that I am on a bike is irrelevant to the traffic law.  A bicycle is a moving vehicle equivalent to a car in this state and thus should be yielded to in the same way that other cars are yielded to when they have the right-of-way.

If I had to guess, I would say that if I had been driving a car, this driver would have yielded to me, because if she hadn’t, she would quite likely have been hit, especially considering that she didn’t have her signal on.  But because I was on a bike, I was, what, a non-entity, not a physical threat to her car, and therefore not worth yielding to?  She had to have seen me.  My body language indicated that I was going straight through the intersection.  But instead she chose to ignore me, and then reacted with hostility toward me when I was merely exercising my right-of-way.  What’s more is that her hostility seemed so genuine.  How can I expect to survive on the streets when drivers believe their horrible driving practices to be right and true?

The bottom line is that I’m tired of deconstructing incidents like this.  They didn’t used to bother me as much.  But I don’t feel like it’s getting better out there.  You would think more cyclists on the road would mean more awareness among drivers.  But that awareness is either not coming, or it’s approaching with the speed of cold molasses.  A common argument stated by the trolls who post comments on bike safety articles online is that cyclists shouldn’t get treated like regular traffic until they start obeying all the rules (stopping at every stop sign, etc.).  To that I say, why would I wait at a stop sign (or red light) if I can proceed safely through it ahead of other traffic?  Is it better for me to wait there with the automotive traffic, and then risk being hit by a driver eager to cut me off?  I have to think about what’s safest for me because I’m not surrounded by two tons of steel.  And from my observations over the years, I’ve determined that the safest thing for me is to stay ahead of traffic whenever possible.  It’s quite obvious to me that most, if not all, drivers do not want me in their way.

Basically, I feel invisible on my bike.  And it’s not just the drivers ignoring me.  Pedestrians don’t hear I’m coming, and they never look before crossing the street, anyway.  Maybe they would look if they heard something…I don’t really know.  I see them walk out in front of cars without looking, too…I guess maybe they just have a death wish.  And even if they do look at me, they still walk out in front of me half the time.  I don’t know what it is.  Do they misjudge how fast a bike can travel?  Do they not realize that getting hit by a bike hurts?  Maybe they wouldn’t die or be paralyzed, but I guarantee they’d suffer some injuries.

Bike commuting used to be fun.  My trips to work and back were usually the highlights of my day, times when I felt truly alive.  Now, I am more likely to dread those trips.  The city streets are alive with danger.  If it’s not a car hitting you, it will be a roving band of teenagers attacking you and stealing your bike, or just practicing some act of random violence upon you.  For the first time, I’m starting to really wonder if it’s worth it.  How can I just enjoy riding my bike if I think everyone is out to get me?  If it were just my imagination maybe I could learn to fight it.  But the proof continues to manifest itself all around me, and I can’t just turn away.

institutionalized

Due to cat needing vet visits, I spent two days working from home, driving Em El down south for work and picking her up in the evening.  I haven’t commuted by car in years, so it was quite a shock to my system.  Blood pressure rises, teeth gritted, eyes glaze over as you follow the same route over and over.  I’m used to seeing the stupid things drivers pull as I ride my bike, but it’s totally different when you’re driving.  It actually bothers me more, probably because I’m already extremely agitated just from the mere fact of being behind the wheel.  Anyway, it got me thinking about people who commute the same route for years on end.  Every day, a vacant thousand-yard stare fixed on the traffic lights ahead.  The rote of it all would kill me in a matter of months.

So after the storms pass, and the dishes are drying in the rack, I step out into the cool air.  That old cottonwood out back sings its timeless song with nothing more than leaves in the wind and I am so thirsty to hear it.  I want to go to sleep listening to nothing but that.  It takes me back to, of all places, Lucy Park and the hidden trails I found that one day, winding alongside the chocolate brown river.  After a deep and full night of cottonwood sleep I want to wake up to the high fluted serenades of the thrushes.  I want to turn my head to the window and breathe in the meadow breeze as it fills the room.  I am so hungry for what feeds me.  So desperate in this urban confusion.  I keep fitting one leghold trap after another onto these withered limbs.

I can’t stop hearing Bill Callahan sing, “My ideals have got me on the run…towards my connection with everyone.  My ideals have got me on the run…it’s my connection to everyone.”

I don’t even know anymore what my ideals are, if I even ever had a clear idea.  I’m so shifty and drifty, I’m barely able to pin myself down most days.  And I’m certainly not running anymore.  Treading murky water, perhaps.  As for my connections, they are few and far between.  Far in miles and farther yet in states of mind.

I don’t want to become institutionalized.  I really don’t.  I know that much. Maybe that’s an ideal?  It’s something I’ll keep fighting against as long as I have the strength, even if it’s with my last few ounces.

serendipity

It was quite birdy this morning!  Although Larry, Moe, and Curly (the three squirrels) brought along a friend (Shemp, perhaps?) for their now-daily assault on the feeders, there were still a lot of birds waiting around in the crabapple tree and up on the power lines for their turn.  Unfortunately, squirrels don’t know how to share (even with their own kind), and so there was more squirrel feeding going on than actual bird feeding.  Surprisingly, later on a European Starling appeared at the feeder tray while the Mourning Doves were having a go.  I think this may be the first time at the new house that I’ve seen one at the feeders.

The two highlights for the morning, though, didn’t happen at the feeder.  The first one occurred as I was preparing to leave for work.  I took one last look out the kitchen window and my jaw dropped as a Great Blue Heron flew low not far above the roof lines across the alley and then over the house.  Perhaps it was heading for Lake Montebello?  Although I haven’t been over there recently, and it may be frozen over.  Not much other open water nearby.  But it’s always a good sign when my spirit bird appears.  And a new yard bird, as well!

The second highlight happened during my morning commute.  Today was the first day I biked to work after the double blizzard.  As a result, I had to alter some sections of my route due to traffic congestion and ice-covered roads.  Inconvenient as it may have been, I was unexpectedly rewarded when I turned onto one road and heard the “kee-aah, kee-aah” of a Red-Shouldered Hawk.  It was so loud that I just about fell off my bike!  I navigated through some snow onto the side of the road and had some good looks at this noble bird as it surveyed the urban landscape from its perch high up in a tree.  I wonder if it was the same one I saw on Sunday, soaring above the neighborhood?

if dante had worked here, there would be another circle of hell in the inferno

Today is meeting day at work.  Tuesday is always meeting day.  In my lexicon, meeting day is known as the Inferno.  We have an all-staff meeting, and then after only a 30-minute reprieve (Purgatorio), my section has its weekly meeting.  These section meetings are excruciating and often stretch their weedy tendrils into the lunch hour, so that near the end everyone has been stricken blind by the gnawing hunger in their bellies, and they begin to hallucinate that there are even more items to discuss on the agenda.  Nine times out of ten there is absolutely nothing on the agenda that relates directly to my work and so the torture is particularly poignant for me.  The boss man spews his oily drivel and we all flop around in it.  We drink down his bitter poison and smile through our gag reflexes, even as our insides melt away.  Then I go back to my desk and stare hollow-eyed at the computer until the end of the day.

On many of these days, the only moments I truly feel alive are those I spend biking to work.  Attention to my surroundings is crucial, as traffic is unpredictable and hazards abound.  At work, at my desk, my senses dull to a blunted finish.  I sit for hours, an empty husk, with glazed eyes and blank mind.  At the end of the day, I struggle to shake it off for the ride home.

Every day they dump new blazing coals upon us, and the greedy flames consume another chunk of our dignity.  As the fat sizzles, so do our ideals.

P.S.  Someone just told me that the staff meeting has been moved to Thursday.  Perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel after all!

mixed messages

Fact: it is illegal to ride your bike on the sidewalk here.

Fact: people have been issued tickets for this offense.

Fact: it is illegal here for a cyclist not to stop at a stop sign or red light.

Fact: the other day I was riding home from work and saw a police officer directing traffic up ahead at a light that I usually run. So I opted to pause and wait for it to change. However, a young woman riding her bike on the sidewalk in the same direction that I was riding reached the intersection and was waved through it by the cop!

Not only did the cop see her riding on the sidewalk and did nothing about it, but she also waved her through a red light!

What is the point of these so-called laws then when they are not enforced and, in fact, violation of them is even encouraged by law enforcement officers?

Fact: Idaho has a law on the books that says a cyclist is permitted to roll through a red light or stop sign provided the intersection is clear.

All states and cities should have this law. It is ridiculous that a cyclist should have to wait at a light or stop sign if they can pass safely through the intersection. One of the many benefits of cycling in the city is that you can get places quicker than a car. Part of this involves running some red lights and stop signs. And I don’t buy the argument of drivers who say cyclists don’t deserve to be on the roads because they are generally irresponsible (e.g. run stop lights). I see drivers run lights and stop signs ALL THE TIME. But a 2-tjavascript:void(0)on hunk of steel moving through an intersection at 30 mph is WAY more dangerous than a 160 lb person on a 20 lb bike moving at 5 mph. If a cyclist wants to assume the personal risk, then they should be allowed to. But a driver is piloting a deadly weapon capable of killing a person and as such, should be subject to much stricter traffic laws.

This great animated video explains how the Idaho rolling stop law works.

fundamental rules of bike commuting part one

A fundamental rule of bike commuting: on any two contiguous days on which an equal or similar chance of rain is predicted, if a cyclist suits up in full rain gear on one day then it will not rain no matter how dark and stormy the sky may appear and, in fact, the sun will likely break through the clouds causing profuse sweating underneath said rain gear; conversely, if on the other day the same cyclist does not suit up in rain gear, it will invariably rain a considerable amount, thus ensuring a fresh waterlogged professional appearance at work.

The phrase “slight chance of showers” is an empty meaningless phrase and should heretofore be banished from meteorological parlance.