Now is the time when everyone is on vacation. To discern this, one need only scroll through one’s social media feed of choice and view the endless stream of photos of one’s family members, friends, colleagues, and vague acquaintances having ‘experiences’ in places other than their familiar surroundings. This practice of sharing vacation images of oneself and one’s ‘exotic’ (read: not at home) surroundings with others (typically against their will), while inexplicable in nature, is, however, nothing new. It’s just that it can now be done instantaneously by nearly everyone in the known world, while they are still on vacation, which by default also means that the ensuing unprecedented volume of vacation photos renders said photos even more meaningless than ever before.

For as long as humans have had access to a means for communicating their experiences to other humans through a pictorial medium there have been vacation images. Think of the humble slide projector. If you’re old enough—which few probably are—you’ll no doubt cringe at that particular recollection. The steady clicking, the rattling fan, the darkened room—no one was immune to the soporific effect that combination engendered. Peering even further back into history, it would not be surprising to learn that even cavepeople scratched pictograms of their recent travels on the walls of their stone abodes in order to show off to their neighbors how worldly they’d become. This may even have become a factor in natural selection. Who knows (or cares!).

And is that even why people share vacation photos? To demonstrate their worldliness? To flaunt the vibrant texture of their lives? At a base level, simply to brag? If not, then why? Seriously, I want to know because I’ve never understood it (even as I myself at certain weak moments in the now distant past was actually doing it, and at times on this blog no less!). Perhaps this is destined to remain one of those great mysteries of human behavior, because I’d like to think that not everyone I know (including myself) who shares and/or has shared vacation photos is a braggart.

In recent years I’ve become increasingly loathe to vacate my own surroundings for the purpose of a vacation, never mind sharing images of one with unsuspecting others. As a child I loved going on vacation, despite the occasional stress it yielded—it was worth it because I was just a clueless kid having fun wherever I was, not an adult desperately trying to escape their crummy boring life. Now as an adult I have penetrated the façade of vacation and subsequently perceived its true nature. The vacation concept is predicated on the belief that one needs a break from one’s quotidian life. This in turn implies that one’s everyday life is somehow oppressive and/or draining, generally speaking all of the time, or else why should the cumulative effect of living one’s life necessitate the taking of a vacation?

A person who is satisfied with their life and thrills to the joy of waking up each day and doing all of the little (and big!) things that fill their days should not need a so-called break in the form of vacation. If they do then they should re-examine their life choices and consider altering their current course instead of flittering off on yet another escapist journey. In addition, there are serious dangers inherent in the deliberate departure from one’s daily life in order to travel somewhere else for the purpose of not living one’s daily life. It is in the spirit of forewarning, then, that I have something important to share with you.

Fifteen years ago I concluded issue no. 14 of my former zine—which loosely explored the topic of writer’s block and was affectionately nicknamed ‘the lost issue’ in the wake of my decision to never formally distribute it—with the following public service announcement (PSA). While I no longer agree with everything I wrote in this particular PSA (and have duly added a minor update), perhaps it can still help others to navigate the travails of returning home from vacation.

Post-Vacation Stress Syndrome (PVSS) is a condition that results from the jarring return to a person’s ordinary surroundings after spending time somewhere else doing something quite out of the ordinary. It happens when you try to navigate your regular life while still trying to focus through your vacation lenses. If you have recently returned from a vacation and are experiencing some or all of the following symptoms, you may be suffering from PVSS:

-Irrational irritability
-Cursing a lot
-A general feeling of being ‘on edge’
-Snapping at or full on raging at innocent bystanders in your life
-Panicky feelings over rapid fading of memorable vacation moments
-Confusion, disorientation, and/or lightheadedness
-Overwhelming desire to crawl under a rock and hide

Luckily there is help for those who suffer from PVSS. Although no known pharmaceutical solution to the syndrome exists, many PVSS patients have found solace in one or more of the following remedies:

-Drinking lots of coffee
-Avoiding work
-Cursing a lot
-Reveling in the denial that you have actually returned home
-Reliving the vacation in its entirety in your mind over and over until your eyes glaze over and drool hangs from the corners of your mouth
-Listening to music
-Not talking to people
-Returning to favorite activities (e.g., riding bike a lot, not talking to people)
-Going on another vacation (or at least starting to plan the next one) -Not ever going on vacation again [2022 update—ed.]

Above all, PVSS patients should take comfort in knowing that there is not a single documented case of a PVSS patient who wasn’t eventually dragged kicking and screaming out of vacation purgatory back into the life they have chosen, for better or for worse.

Thank you and be safe.