And that my childhood cat’s name was Mittens,
And that Mitt Romney’s first name is actually Willard,
And that my neighbor’s cat’s name is Willard,
I conclude that Mitt Romney is a cat.
There are two possible explanations for why he does not resemble a cat during public appearances. Either he is (1) a shape-shifter or (2) a cat in a man suit.
Please do not challenge me on this. I don’t want to hear it. Have a good day now.