What’s on tap for today? asked the one.
Please don’t use that phrase. I don’t like it, said the other.
Certainly, replied the one.
Are you feeling badly? asked the one tentatively.
The other sighed. This banter is beginning to read like a Garfield comic strip.
Oh, right, replied the one. Garfield hated Mondays! He would hide under his blanket in his cat box. Not a bad idea actually.
Yes, agreed the other. How do you cope with Mondays, one?
Well, I hang out with you, of course, said the one. But I also read books and listen to music! I’m not very productive at work on Mondays in case you were wondering.
Well, that’s your business, said the other.
Perhaps they will fire me, said the one.
It’s always possible, replied the other.
I think it would be a relief, frankly, said the one.
Frankly, Mr. Shankly, said the other.
This position I’ve held…It pays my way, and it corrodes my soul!! sang the one.
I want to leave, you will not miss me…I want to go down in musical history!! shouted the other.
Wheeee, said the one.
I had a lot of weird dreams this weekend, said the other suddenly.
Dreams are good. I love them! said the one.
Dreams repel Mondays. They are the anti-Monday! said the other, excited now.
What else can we do to destroy Mondays? I want to smash them to bits! said the one.
Maybe we can sneak up on Mondays…like on Sunday nights, and stab them in the back with an ice pick??!! shrieked the other.
Yes! Yes! Kill the beast! Cut his throat! Spill his blood! shouted the one.
Wait. Is Monday the beast…or the deserted island? asked the other.
Who cares! screamed the one. Slit its throat!
Okay, settle down, said the other.
Why?? You started this! yelled the one.
Here, have some pretzels, said the other.
Okay. Pretzels are good, replied the one.
This conversation never happened, said the other.
I know, said the one.