11.7. On the train to ______City. Marie Curie, Leon Trotsky, and Albert Camus were born on this date. The Colonel called yesterday to tell me the decision has been made to shut the project down. The atmosphere in the capital is changing, he said. Lawmakers are cutting down on government waste in response to widespread violent protests in the remaining cities. You knew this was coming, he said to me, not waiting for confirmation on my end. I hurled the receiver across the room.
Whether I knew it was coming or not is now a moot point. The recruits left yesterday. I hung around another night to finish writing my final report (pointless). Then I erased all the hard drives. Two security officers escorted me to the train station this morning. I’m being transferred. I’ve got my orders in hand. They are sending me to the frozen north.
I am thinking now of the recruit whose lips I kissed. I am thinking now of my dead wife and daughter. I am thinking that this is quite likely all I will ever have, my memories, my wilting desires, the breath I exhale.
Camus said “Art and revolt will die only with the last man.” I used to think that was true, but now I wish that the world had ended when it had a chance. There will never be a last man. That archetype is a myth. We are all the last, and we have made our choice. It is now up to the earth to decide whether or not to accept it.