the one and the other discuss the weather

What is up with this winter, other.

I don’t know, one, but it is a strange one for sure.

I have a bad feeling that this winter is going to be like last winter where I felt so unworthy of spring!

Ah, yes, I remember…you were in a state, one, a real fragile state.

I know! cried the one. What ever will I do if it is like that again?

We’ll make it through together. Please don’t worry, one.

Oh thank you, other, thank you…you are too sweet. Tell me again how you got to be so sweet. Tell me the story. Tell me, other, telllll meeeee!

I took a distance learning course!

Wheee! You are ridiculous, other. Did I ever tell you that?

Yes, one…many times! But now I must go lie down.

Ohhh…do you have a sadness in you today, other?

Yes, one, I do.

Can I help?

Just your being here is helping. The way I feel you listening even when there are no words, one…that means so much.

I’m glad, other, I really am…but this sadness, see, I just want to wring its spiny little neck! I want to banish it!

I appreciate that, one. I really do.

But does it ever go away, other? The sadness…does it…does it ever leave you…

Not really…there are always traces. But it helps to not feel so alone with it.

I like to help you, other. I don’t always understand but it’s okay, right?

Of course it is! You help me so much, one. Now, where is that chocolate bar you’ve been saving for emergencies…

the one and the other totally lose it

I feel despondent, said the one.

I know, said the other.

The weather is outstanding, said the one.

Yes, said the other.

And yet…

Yes?

I feel despondent.

I know. You mentioned that…

And you said you know! How, how did you know, other? cried the one.

I know you, replied the other.

We should be outside, shouldn’t we, said the one.

Probably.

When we were outside…before…I didn’t feel quite so…hopeless, whispered the one.

This isn’t just about Mondays, is it, said the other.

I don’t…think…so, said the one.

It goes deeper, doesn’t it, asked the other.

Yes, yes, so deep, like a filthy jungle pit! cried the one.

Take my hand, one, take it, said the other.

Oh, thank you, thank you.

I don’t know if I have enough chocolate to cure you today, said the other gravely.

I need some of that special prescription chocolate, the one moaned. The kind they keep locked up behind the counter.

What are you talking about?

You know…the SPECIAL chocolate. It’s so strong they keep it locked up.

You are worse off than I thought, muttered the other.

I just need to get through this rough patch, other, the one pleaded. I need to know if I can count on you.

Of course you can! You know that! cried the other.

Don’t shout at me! yelled the one. I’m in a fragile state.

We need to stretch our joints, the other announced. That’s what we need.

My brain stopped, replied the one. It just stopped…back there…I don’t know.

Let’s run like wild horses, one, like wild flippin’ horses! screamed the other.

Yes! Of course! We’ve been in a slow trot here, of course. More like a gallop, yessireee, that’s what we need. I feel better already.

I changed my mind. We’re both axehandle hounds now. Let’s go eat some axe handles.

Nooo…the woodsmen will kill us!!

Wait…what’s that?

What?

That monkey.

Why, other, that is the inkpot monkey, of course!

What is it doing?

It’s waiting for us to finish talking so it can drink the rest of the ink in the inkpot.

Oh, it’s very patient, isn’t it.

Yes.

[slurp]

More of The One and the Other.

the one and the other discuss monday holidays

Today is Monday but it’s also a holiday, said the one.

Indeed, said the other.

How do you feel about that, asked the one.

Eh, I’m noncommittal, replied the one. Sunday becomes Saturday, Monday becomes Sunday, it never ends.

But…are we supposed to hate Monday holidays? pleaded the one.

The other frowned. I don’t think so.

It’s also September now, noted the one.

Yes, replied the other.

The blobs have returned to their indoctrination centers, reported the one.

Ah, yes. I see them in the mornings now, replied the other.

Other, whispered the one.

Yes?

Are you afraid of dying?

No, stated the other.

Why not? cried the one.

Because I like sleeping, replied the one.

The one frowned. But you don’t wake up from death!

That’s fine, said the other. It’s like…ultimate sleep, you know? Sleep deluxe.

I guess, said the one. Do you mean…every time we go to sleep, it’s like a little visit from death?

Exactly, replied the other.

Oh, good. I was afraid death would be more like Sundays, said the one.

How so? asked the other.

Well, you know what Sundays are like, said the one. I even wrote a bad poem about it once! No one wanted to publish it.

Morrissey wrote a song about that, said the other.

Everyday is like Sunday! screamed the one.

Everyday is silent and grey! shouted the other.

The one frowned. But it’s not Sunday.

I know, replied the other. But remember how today is a holiday so actually today is Sunday, for all intents and purposes.

O, right! said the one.

Here, have some chocolate chips, said the other. Chocolate improves mood.

CHOCOLATE! screamed the one, inhaling chips like a vacuum.

Okay, I think you’ve had enough, said the other.

In your face, Sundays AND Mondays! shouted the one with glee.

Gimme those chips back, you fiend! yelled the other.

Not ’til Tuesday! yelled the one.

Fair enough, said the other. But I’ll be expecting cookies later…

More of The One and the Other.

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